Wanted You More
by WritingDiva
Summary: Rose leaves court after her fall out with Lissa, Dimitri and Adrian. None of them knowing she was expecting Dimitri's baby. Now six years later she will need the help of her child's father to fix a mess bigger than even she can handle. Will Dimitri help or has his love really faded? First FanFiction, please Review. I DO NOT OWN VA, ALL RIGHTS GO TO RICHELLE MEAD.
1. Chapter 1

Rose's P.O.V

I ran to my suit in palace housing as quickly as possible before anyone could see the notorious Rose Hathaway cry. I slammed the door behind me with enough force to shake the windows and let out the scream of frustration that had been bubbling in the back of my throat since the church.

"True love doesn't fade, you asshole!" I screamed at no one in particular. I just needed to vent all the hurt and anger I felt. How could I have been so stupid? After everything I've done for him and he gives all the credit to Lissa. I'm the one who broke countless laws and taboos to find the necessary information to change him back. I'm the one who gave up everything for him. I have almost no hope of becoming an actual guardian unless I take Tasha's offer, but like hell that was going to happen. Why? Because I dropped out of school to fulfill the promise we made to each other, which meant I broke the most sacred guardian motto: _They come first. _Yet, I hadn't been able to put Lissa first because I loved him more than anything so that cost me dearly and how does he repay me? By telling me that his love had fucking faded. Grabbing the picture of us from the nightstand I chucked it at the wall because we looked so happy and the glass shattered.

"Well fuck you Guardian Belikov!" I was starting to feel violent and I knew I need to hit something really bad. Wiping the tears from my face I made my way to the gym not giving a second thought to the fact that I was in street clothes and I hand not wrapped my hands. I strode to the punching bag with purpose and unleashed my anger out on it. I punched, kicked, jabbed with all my strength to rid myself of this anger that felt like it was consuming me. I could taste my anger, feel the frustration lodged in my throat it was so dark that it felt animalistic. My hands were bleeding now, but that's okay at least that way I'll be able to focus on the physical pain later on instead of the emotional one. From the corner of my eye, I noticed that all the guardians had stopped to watch me, worry written on some of their faces, but one face stood out the most, Alberta. I ignored her and kept up my punching.

"Should we stop her? She could hurt herself." One guardian asked.

"I'm not getting in the middle of Hathaway and a punching bag when she's that angry." Another remarked.

Alberta shook her head. "I've seen her like this before and only one person can get to her. I'm getting Belikov." Most nodded in agreement since that fact that he was once her mentor was a well known fact. Alberta strode away to find Dimitri, but Rose knew he wouldn't come.

Alberta's P.O.V.

As soon as I was out of view, I sprinted to find Dimitri before Rose really did do something worse than just scrape up her knuckles. The last time I had seen her like that was when we found her at the Academy beating up Jesse Zeklos for torturing Princess Lissa. She had a crazed look in her eye that said she wanted blood and she would do anything to get it. Now she had the same look in her eye, only she was hurting herself not others. Dimitri had taken care of her then and hopefully he could do the same now. Rose was like a daughter to me and I had no desire to see her hurt. I pounded on Dimitri's room, pushing the guardian guarding it aside. He allowed it because he knew me as guardian in a much higher position than him. Dimitri answered the door with a bit of confusion and happiness registering on his face. He obviously didn't get visits often.

"Hello, Guardian Petrov. What a surprise? Please come in." He said, opening the door wider so I could step inside. I turned to face him, he looked so different. Sadder, more reserved if that was possible, but at least he had a small smile.

"Belikov, I need you it's Rose." I expected him to jump into action like he always did whenever Rose was involved, but instead it wiped the smile from his face and filled his eyes with pain. "She's going crazy in the gym."

He turned away from me, his entire body stiffening. "Get another person to handle it. You could probably find Ivashkov in a bar somewhere." His voice sounded so bitter.

I stared at him in stunned silence, at loss for words. "You're her mentor, don't you want to help."

He sighed. "I _use_ to be her mentor. We've gone our separate ways."

Now I was really confused. "I thought you loved each other." I accused. He turned to look at me again. It was his turn to look surprised which amused me. "Come on Belikov, you really think Victor Dashkov is the only person who figured it out."

"How did you know?" He asked "We were so careful."

I smirked. "Physically yes you were but emotionally not so much. She brought joy to your life and you brought balance to hers. It was easy to see how well you completed each other, I always had my suspicions but at the trial Victor's accusations just confirmed it for me."

He had his Guardian mask in place. "Well, everything we had together died right beside the old me in those caves. My love has faded and I told her so."

Suddenly I knew what had sparked the rage in Rose. Belikov had ripped her heart out because I knew for a fact that her love had definitely not faded and most likely never will. "You are many things Belikov, but I never pegged you for a fool. That girl loves you, gave up everything for you. The least you could do is stop her from ruining whatever future she has left or from seriously hurting herself or someone else like when she beat up the Zeklos kid."

That seemed to trigger something inside of him as he seemed to come to life. "The darkness. No not my Roza." He turned around and ran out of the room. I stopped the guardian that was about to go after him.

"No I'm a guardian. I'll watch him." I ran after him, but it was difficult he was a man on a mission. When I got back to the gym I was out of breath, but I noticed Dimitri struggling with Rose, everyone was watching them now. He had his arms wrapped around her from behind and he had lifted her off the ground.

"No, Roza. Fight it. You're stronger than this. Please, this is not you." The words triggered something in Rose; her eyes welled up with tears. Suddenly she broke free of Belikov's grip which was impressive and she swung around and punched him in the face.


	2. Chapter 2

Dimitri´s P.O.V.

I had not expected her to hit me. I had expected yelling, cursing and a lot of attitude, but not for her to punch me in the face. When darkness struck her in the Academy she had not tried to hit me, but then again I was not the center of her anger back then and I was she began to rain blow after blow on my body and my guardian instincts took over as I began to dodge them. Her moves were sloppy not coordinated at all, so it was not difficult at all to grap her wrists into one of my hands and pull her close to my body. " I thought I taught you better than this, Rose." I said amusingly. Rose gave me an errie smile right before her knee connected to my groin. Th male guardians gave a collected round of "ooohs!" as I keeled over in pain. I put my hand on the injury in a useless attempt to ease the pain shooting through my body. Rose smirked at me before turning around to walk away, but I was not going to let her. I was or I use to be a guardian, I trained to not let anything stop me from doing what I had to. Pushing aside the pain, I lunged at Rose and managed to wrestle her to the ground. We fought for control of her arms, but she elbowed me in the face and I winced giving her enough time to flip us so that she was on top. She tried to keep punching me but I managed to block most of them. I grabbed a fistfull of her hair that hung loose around her shoulders and used it to manuever her under me again. I finally managed to pin her hands above her head.

" I thought I told you to put your hair up, Rose." I told her smuggly, our faces only inches apart.

She glared at me. " I never thought you´d fight like a bitch, Guardian Belikov." She spat at me. That wiped the smile right off my face. She always knew how to get under my skin.

"You use whatever advantage you can in a fight. If I was still a Strigoi you would be dead." I told her all playfulness gone from my tone and expression.

The darkness was gone or at least I assumed it was, she was staring at me so seriously. "But you´re not and that´s because of me not Lissa. Me. Me, Guardian Belikov."

I stared into those brown eyes that I loved so much. "You use to call me Dimitri." I said softly.

Tears welled in her eyes and tore my heart to shreds. " And I use to be your Roza. I use to matter to you." She said just as softly.

I let go of her hands and carressed the side of her face. Her skin felt like silk under my fingers. "You still matter to me, but I am not worthy of you anymore, Roza."

Some of the guardians cleared their throats bringing us out of our daze. I had forgotten they were even here. Their faces showed that they now knew she had been more than my student and they did not look happy about it. I got up off of her and lent her hand to help her up. I didn't let go of it as I strode out of the gym and away form accusing eyes.

"Where are we going?" She asked.

"I don´t know, just away from them. I don´t think they should hear what is just between us." I told her. She tugged my hand and led me to the opposite way I was going. We didn´t say anything to each other as she led me to palace housing. When she reached her door she took out her key and let us in. I hadn´t let go of her hand and a part of me did not want to. Suddenly, she let go and pulled me down to her eye level. "You are worthy of me." She whispered against my lips then she kissed me. I groaned into the kiss and despite my better judgment I kissed her back. This was different than when I was a Strigoi, I was alive she didn´t feel to warm she felt just right. I could appreciate her beauty and I could actually make love to her. I pulled her closer as our kiss got deeper, more passionate. Her fingers ran through my hair and I felt her shudder with pleasure. She pulled away much to soon.

"Dimitri, make love to me. Please, I need you." She pleaded. I waged a battle with myself over this, but the part of me that needed her too won out. I took her hand and led her to the bedroom. At least for today, I would make her my Roza again.

**So what do you guys think. LEMON for the next chapter, but I really need you guys to review so I know what you guys think so far. I am totally up for constructive critiscm.**


	3. Chapter 3

Rose´s P.O.V.

My heart fluttered in my chest as he lead me to my bedroom. It felt like it had been a lifetime ago when we made love in the cabin and I needed this more than anything. I needed to feel close to him and to have him show me he cares. When he closed the door he slammed me up against it and started to kiss my neck.

"I missed you so much Roza." He said, his voice husky. He bit down on my neck making me moan as he hit my sweet spot.

I giggled. "Do you worst, Comrade. I can be just as rough." I cupped him and loved watching his eyes glaze over with lust. He growled before throwing me over his shoulder and making a run for the bed making me laugh. He tossed me not to gently on the bed before climbing on top of me and kissing me. Our kisses were needy and urgent, we needed each other no matter how much he denied it. His hand crept up under my shirt to cup my breast, I moaned into his mouth. Those hands that had killed so many strigoi could touch me so lovingly.

"You have too much clothes on, Roza." He said in between kisses. Leaning back on his knees, he wips my shirt off and starts to unbuckle my jeans, pulling them down my long slender legs, leaving me in only panties and a bra. That wasen´t good enough for him so he unclasps my bra and tosses the offensive material across the room. He groans as he sees my breasts, making my nipples harden. He leans down and licks a nipple before taking it into his mouth and sucks. I lean my head back and moan as his other hand massages the breast not in his mouth. I rub my wet pussy against his jean clad thigh creating the most delicious frinction. All the sensations coarsing through my body were overwhelming.

"Dimitri, why are you still wearing clothes this is not fair." I whined. He chuckled, the sound vibrating around my breast making it tickle. I helped him take off his shirt and man his chest looked just as amazing as I remembered. He got off the bed and kicked off his shoes while unbuckling his belt. I bit my lip at the amazing sight that was Dimitri stripping. He pulled his pants and boxer down in one fluid motion and kicked it away. I gasped, I had almost forgotten how huge he was. How had that fit inside me?

He smirked. "See something you like." He asked.

I growled playfully at that. "That´s my line, Comrade. I should punished you for that theft." I purred seductively.

He raised an eyebrow at that. Damn, I´m still jealous that he could do that. " I´m all yours."

I stood up in front of him and began to kiss his chest like the night of the lust charm and made my way down kissing, nipping, and licking every inch of his body, his groans of pleasure egging me on. When I was on my knees in front of him, his body stiffened wondering if I would really do what he thought I would. I intended to. I kissed the inside of each of his thigh before giving a long lick up his cock.

I looked up at him. "I don´t think I can fit you all in my mouth."

His eyes were hooded, his chest heaving. "That´s fine, just…..please suck me." He begged.

Needing no further incouragment I took the tip of his penis into my mouth and sucked lightly. He groaned and I took him into my mouth and sucked a little harder. I bobbed my head on his cock grabbing his ass to help me, but apparently It wasen´t fast enough for him, He took my hair into his hands and started fucking my mouth. I reached and cupped his balls, massaging them in my hand while his cock hit the back of my throat. I was surprised I could take him all and I loved how much he was enjoying it. I swriled my tongue around his cock, hollowing my cheeks so I could suck him as hard as I could.

"Yes! Just like that Roza. It feels so fucking good." He groaned, pumping his cock into my mouth with vigor and speed. I looked up to watch a flush spread across his chest up his neck and into his cheeks just as he came into my mouth. "Fuck!" He yelled. I swallowed every bit of his cum, he tasted so sweet. His grip on my hair loosened and he stroked my cheek. "Your turn." He said as he lifted me up on the edge of the bed and put my legs over his shoulders.

I tried to push his face away. "Dimitri, no. What if I don´t taste right or something."

He scowled at me. " Do you think I feel any differently about your body than you feel about mine. You wanted to taste me and now I want to taste you." He said his voice husky. Leaning down he licked my wet pussy, causing my eyes to roll back. I gripped the sheets in my fist as he he began to eat me out like a starving man at a feast. He licked and sucked, while his thumb massagaged my clit driving me wild. I screamed out his name, clawing at the sheets as he continued to pleasure me with his mouth.

"Dimitri, I´m almost there. Come on, more." I screamed as I hit my orgasm, but Dimitri still didn't stop until I gave him three more orgasms. My throat was raw from the screaming and my body was covered with fine sheet of sweat. Before I could fully come down from the high of my last orgasm, Dimitri flipped me on my stomach bent me over the bed and entered me from behind.

"Fuck! Yes, yes. Harder Dimitri, come on." He pound into me hard and fast, the headboard slamming against the wall. I should feel bad for the people next to me, but I was enjoying the moment to much to care.

"Roza, youre so god damn tight and hot." Grabbing a fistfull of my hair he tugged it back so that my head rest on his shoulder. It hurt but his roughness made the moment sexier and the sex hotter. He kept slamming into me, the only sounds being my moaning, his heavy breathing and the headboard still slamming the wall.

"Dimitri, I´m going to cum." I gasped out.

Dimitri smiled. "Come on, baby cum for me." He used his other hand to reach down and massage my clit which sent me over the edge. I had the most earth shattering orgasm of my life and Dimitri followed just a few seconds later. I screamed out his name and he had screamed mine. We both collapsed in my bed exhausted. I sighed as he reached for me and pulled me into the curve of his body.

"I love you, Comrade." I said, half asleep.

Dimitri kissed my forhead. "Goodnight, my Roza." I feel asleep with a feeling of unsatisfaction that had nothing to do with the sex.

I woke up with a sore and content feeling huming through my body. I smiled when I rememberd the events of the previous afternoon. Sitting up in my bed with the sheets clutched to my bed, I saw Dimitri sitting on the edge of the bed, fully dressed tieing his shoes. He was so georgeous and couldn´t seem to get enough of him.

"Come back to bed, comrade. I´m sure your guardians wont mind if you spend the night."

His entire body stiffened. " Yes they would and so would I. We can´t do this again." He didn´t even bother to look at me.

A cold feeling washed over as I processed his words. "So what was this, comrade. Just an easy fuck for you." I said bitterly.

He got up and turned to face me, his eyes burning with some strong emotion that seemed like regret. "NO, of course not. This was just a mistake that we regret in the cold light of day." He said his voice devoid of emotion. Tears sprang into my eyes.

"Speak for yourself. I´ve done stupid things that I don´t regret, so I most definitly won´t regret this."

"Well, I regret it. I won´t go looking for you and you don't go looking for me. Okay." Without waiting for an answer, he strode out my bedroom door. I wrapped the sheet around me and went after him.

"Dimitri, wait. We need to work this out." I said. He ignored me. There was a knock on the door right when Dimitri opened it and to her utter horror it was Adrian. He looked destroyed as he took in Dimitri´s presence in my suite and me naked with a sheet wrapped around me. Dimitri didn´t say a word as he pushed passed Adrian and left me alone with him. I had no idea what I was suppose to say, despite the fact that we had argued about Dimitri earlier, we we're still going out and I had cheated on him with the man I swore I wasn't romantically involved with anymore. Adrian's face looked like his entire world had come crumbling down around him and I had no idea what to say to make him feel better.

"Adiran, this….." I tried to apologize, but he cut me off.

"Don't. Don't you dare say this isn't what it looks like. Have a least that much respect for me and don't treat me like and idiot." His voice aganoized.

It was hard to find a dignified answer when I was standing naked in my living room, with only a sheet for clothing and sex hair. "Adrian, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say but I'm sorry." I said desperatly.

"I loved you. I should have known though, this entire time I was loving you and trying my best to treat you like a princess, you were still hoplessly in love with your Russian warlord." He shook his head in disgust at me. "You didn't even have the decesncy to break up with me first, but I shouldn't be surprised because you'll trampel over whoever it takes to be with him."

My eyes stung at those hurtful words. "I didn't mean to hurt you. It's not like I planned to be with him, it just happened okay."

He lifted his hand up to stop me. "Please, spare me the details. I do not want to hear about your great revelation of the love you have for eachother."

"You don't have to worry about it because Dimitri clearly told me I was a mistake."

Adrian looked me straight in the eye. "Yeah, well that makes two of us." He walked away slamming the door in the process. I didn't know if it was possible for your heart to shatter two days in a row, but the agonizing pain in my chest told me it was. I slumped to my knees in the living room and sobbed harder than I ever have in my life.

After I had cried my eyes out, I showered and changed, it helped a little but not by much. I got to work clearing all the sheets off my bed and dumping them in my living room so I could wash them. They were covered in Dimitri's scent and our sex juices, so I had half a mind to call pyro over and have him torch it, he likes setting things on fire so he might as well do something useful. A wave of anger and frustration came through the bond and I only had half a minute to process if Lissa was okay before I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door right as Lissa stormed through, her jade green eyes crackled like emerald fire.

"What the hell, Rose!" She demanded.

I was pretty confused,but more pissed off because I so did not need this right now. "Look Lissa, I don't know what the hell your mad about, but I am not in the mood. Come back later."

"What, are you going to go and get Dimitri into more trouble again?"

Hearing his name made my heart ache all over again,but I was more interested in how I got him into trouble. "What did I do?"

She looked furious. "He's suppose to be on good behavior until the council is convinced he's a dhampir again. That does not include running out of his suite, have a fight with you with a full guardian audience and then running off to God knows where with you without his assigned guardians." Her voice began normally, but by the end of the sentence she was shouting.

"I …I…I…" I was too stunned to know what to say, I had never thought that what we did would have gotten him into trouble.

She nodded like if proud I had finally realized the seriousness of the situation. " Now he's on full lock down again and thanks to you whatever progress we made with the council is ruined. Just leave Dimitri alone he doesn't want you anymore so stop following him around because it's pathetic."

I was furious partly because she had called me pathetic and partly because all those things that had gotten him in trouble weren't really my fault. I didn't ask him to come save me, he should have known better than to challenge me when I was under darkness and he was the one who took my hand and led me off. "You know what princess, instead of trying to involve yourself in my love life, you might want to look at the shit you created with Christian."

She recoiled as If I had physically slapped her before she scowled. "What love life, Dimitri doesn't want you anymore!"

I covered up my hurt with attitude. "That's not the impression I just got from him."

She noticed the pile of dirty sheets. "So, when he wouldn't talk to you, you decided to use your body to get him to listen. Real classy Rose."

I was done with everything going wrong. "Just leave, Lissa."

"With pleasure! Just stay the hell away from Dimitri and think about what's good for someone else instead of you for once." She stormed out of my room and slammed the door just like Adrian had. I could not belive that this was happening to me and for the second time today, I cried my heart out.

**Hey everyone, sorry I took awhile to update but Im in the middle of moving. Ill try to update as much as I can and thank you to everyone who reviewed my stories your comments really mean a lot to me. For those who are confused, I really wanted my story to develop before she took off instead of a quick little flashback of her fighting with Dimitri or Lissa then it dropping you into the middle of her new life. Thanks again and please Review. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok Guys I just wanted to say I'm really sorry, that I haven't updated in a while. Some personal things kept me from writing, but those issues have been dealt with and I'm rolling up my sleeves and getting back into this story. Thank you so much for the Reviews and keep it up. Let me know what you think and what you want to see, it really helps me. These amazing characters belong to Richelle Mead, much to my dismay. Enjoy the fourth chapter.**

Rose's P.o.V.

Things haven't gotten better. In fact, it seemed to me that my entire life was crumbling down around me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Dimitri, Lissa and Adrian have continued to give me the cold shoulder. My mother left for Europe again, and the old man was off doing something that was probably illegally in most countries. Eddie was always surrounded by some Moroi who wanted him to guard them or swamped with Guardian duties. I haven't seen Christian in these past two weeks, so I assumed he was upset with me over the Adrian scandal that had spread through court. Mia had a boyfriend. I was alone. There is nothing crueler than having the world in the palm of your hand than have it ripped away from you. It leaves you vulnerable and hurt, wondering what you did to make someone want to hurt you so badly. I mean I'm Rose Hathaway, I'm always expecting one of my many enemies to try and destroy me, but I never expected it from the two people I love the most. Not from the people that I was willing to die and give up everything for. Their rejection left a part of my soul with a wound so painful, there was nothing to compare it to even with all my training that left me injured countless times. That is why I have a suitcase packed with the few possessions I decided were worth taking and am heading to the court gates where I plan on leaving this place behind forever. Damn the consequences. I was making my way to the main gates ignoring the curious eyes that stared at my suitcase. When it seemed to me that freedom was just within my reach, I was reminded that I was not so lucky. I heard a voice call my name and I cursed as I registered the voice. One of the few people left who could convince me to stay. I turned to see Eddie coming towards me with that endearing grin on his face. It broke my heart even more knowing that I would never see that smile again, but it was for the best

He saw my suitcase. "Hey Rose. What's with the suitcase? Off to another one of your dangerous missions again." He joked.

I shrugged, which made him laugh. "Something like that." I answered seriously.

The smile instantly fell off his face. "What! Are you serious? Rose, you can't just keep running off like this, you'll never become Lissa's Guardian if you do." He exclaimed.

My eyes began to water. Damn it, why was I so emotional lately. "I'm not going to become Lissa's guardian or anyone else's. I'm leaving court, Eddie. For good."

His eyes took on a sort of wild panic, his face registering the shock. "No! No! You cannot just leave. Who the hell is making you want to do this? I'll kick their ass, royal or Moroi. I don't care if it gets me into trouble. No one makes you cry without answering to me."

I smile sadly at him. "You won't hurt the people you love, Eddie. It's not who you are, you protect."

"You're right. I do protect which is why I'm going to protect you from yourself. Think this through, I'm begging you."

"I have thought this through! I've waited two weeks and it's killing me. Killing me to watch everybody get the happy endings I want so badly, the happy ending I gave them, while I'm left alone bleeding in the dust." The anguish in my voice made Eddie's face pale. "Spirit's driving me insane. The people, who I trusted to be there for me with this, have turned their backs on me. I've tried to do it on my own, but I can't Eddie, I just can't anymore!" Halfway through my rant I had started sobbing, my voice had risen to a hysterical scream. My emotions have been everywhere lately and it was all getting to be too much. Eddie pulled me into his arms and held me until the sobs had stopped.

"I'm coming with you." He said into my hair.

I pulled away from him and stared incredulously. "You can't. Your life is here, you're a Guardian."

"So are you."

"No I'm not. I file papers."

He gripped my arms with enough force to surprise me, but not hurt me. "Let me come. I wasn't strong enough to protect the people I loved in Spokane, but I am now. I won't lose you like I lost Mason. He would want me to protect you. You're my best friend, Rose. My little sister."

I shook my head. "Mason was killed because he went looking for Strigoi, I'm doing the opposite. I never want to hear the word Strigoi, Moroi or dhampir again."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "That's impossible. You can't run from who you are. You are a dhampir, you hunt strigoi and you protect Moroi. Sure, maybe you'll never get Lissa, but I hear Tasha has applied to have you. It is not the end of the world"

"I will not guard the women who will probably end up marrying the love of my life. What am I supposed to do? Stand outside their bedroom with my guardian mask while they get it on. Watch with indifference as they make a family together, get married, and grow old together. Is that what you want me to do?" I half asked half yelled.

Eddie winced. "Please Rose. Screw Lissa. Screw Belikov. There's something wrong with them if they can't see how awesome you are. As for Adrian, well what you did was wrong, but I honestly think he should have never dated you. You were still mourning Belikov when he tried to sweep you off your feet He should have let you heal first and the moment Belikov was turned back he should have given you your space. That man was the love of your life, did he expect you to be indifferent, to forget him. He's a fool if he thought that."

"That doesn't give me the right to do what I did. Any way's it doesn't matter, I've made my decision." I leaned up and pulled him into a hug which he returned fiercely. "I'm going to miss you so much."

He pulled away. "Stay here, I'll be right back. I'm going to go get Mia, Alberta, Mikhail. I'm going to show you that there are still people here who care about you."

My eyes watered again. "Eddie, please…"

"Promise me you won't leave yet."

I sighed. "Okay, I won't leave until you get back." He smiled in satisfaction before he took off into court to go find our friends. I had no intention of keeping my promise, it wouldn't matter anyway. I'd never see him again. I picked up my suitcases and made my way to the front gates. The guardians there couldn't hide their surprise that I was leaving. I smiled wearily. "Come on, Boys. Are you going to let me through or do I have to embarrass you in front of everyone by kicking your asses?" They didn't smile, but they did let me through. The winding road if front of me reminded me of the time I set off to kill Dimitri. Then I had had small hope that I would see everyone again, now there was no hope. I was never coming back. I started walking and I never looked back.


	5. Chapter 5

Rose's P.o.V

It has been six years since I left court. Six years since I have spoken to anyone from my world and six years that I have lived twenty minutes from court undetected. I knew that people would look for me and they would search many places, but they never would expect me to risk my freedom by living so close to court. Which is why I did it, because it's so unlike me therefore they would never find me. Eventually I'll move far away, but I want my daughters to grow up in one place at least. Oh yeah, I have twins and Dimitri is the father. How that is even possible, I have no clue, but it's not like I can discuss dhampir genetics and spirit with anyone in the human world can I. Yet, I know it has to be Dimitri who is the father of my twins because it's also been six years since I've slept with someone. I definitely needed to get laid soon, but I was afraid I would compare them to Dimitri and after all these years I was still trying to get them completely out of my life. Every once in awhile I would still get sucked into Lissa's head even though I would try very hard not to. I would see someone like a guardian from my old world and I would have to hide to make sure they did not see me, which is pretty tough let me tell you. Spirit would still try to affect me and I would have to lock myself in my room so that I don't scare my little girls. Also, Adrian would try to visit me in my dreams. It took a year after I left for him to try, but they were not successful. Every time I felt myself being pulled into a spirit dream, I would start to scream making my daughters run in to wake me up, I would only catch a glimpse of Adrian's desperate face before I was woken up. Sometimes I would immediately attack him causing him to end the dream abruptly to stop the attack from happening because it may be a dream, but it could still hurt him. He hasn't tried in a while. Let's get back to my current life. My daughters are beautiful and it's not just me being biased everyone says it. They are five, with my hair and Dimitri's eyes which kills me everytime I see them. Their names are Anastasia Olena Belikov Hathaway and Alexei Rhea Belikov Hathaway. I gave Alexei (pronounced like Alexia), Lissa's mothers name to show myself that I forgave her and I gave Anastasia Olena's name to make myself feel a little less guilty about keeping their family away from them when they so desperately wanted one. They wanted a father, aunts, cousins, uncles and grandparents like everyone else in their class had, but I couldn't give them that. Well, I could but I don't know if anyone from my old life would accept them or even believe me when I told them who their father was. Better to save them the heartache. Anyway, Ana is an exact replica of her father. She loves to hide in her room with a book of disney tales, that she has not been able to put down since she learned how to read. She loves toy story (I'm pretty sure it's because Woody is a cowboy) and country music. Well, she liked Taylor Swift and Carrie Underwood, which I think count as country artists and that little girl gives me absolutely no trouble. She keeps her room clean, dresses herself and even tries to pick up around the house sometimes. She is my little princess because she is a ballerina, plus she loves to wear dresses and the color pink. Lex is the exact opposite, which means she's just like me. She is sassy, rude and a little trouble maker. She's on a soccer team and is the MVP of her team, though that is not so hard when it's just a bunch of five year olds running around after a ball with no real rules. I can never get her to keep her room clean and the day I get her in a dress it will be a cold day in hell. She'll listen to just about anything on the radio and will also eat just about anything too. Yet, sometimes she had this intensity and wisdom about her that reminded me so much of her father. I didn't like to admit it to myself, but having my girls was like having a little bit of Dimitri that no one could take away from me. I shook those thoughts from my head as I took out the necessary ingredients to make the girl's favorite breakfast. Double chocolate chip pancakes with a strawberry banana smoothie. It was Saturday and they both had events today, so that's why I was making them. I smiled at the thought of Christian finding out I could cook, well sorta. He'd have some snarky comment about the world coming to an end, while I'd probably throw the bowl at his head. Lissa would laugh and Dimitri would just smile and shake his head at my antics. I thought back to the day I was pulled into Lissa's head all those years ago, when she had found out I had left.

_**I had been watching T.V. in a motel room I had rented as a strong wave of anxiety was sent through the bond so powerful, it had sucked me into Lissa's head. She was at the Court cafe with Dimitri sitting beside her, his face pale and disbelieving. Eddie was standing in front of their table scowling down at them. **_

_**"What do you mean she's gone!" Lissa demanded**_

_**"Exactly what I said. She left court and she's never coming back. Her words to me."**_

_**Dimitri spoke up. "Why would she leave court." His voice sounded hoarse.**_

_**Eddie's eyes widened in disbelief. "How can you even ask me that? You guys are the reason she left. She loved you guys and you destroyed her."**_

_**I felt Lissa's eyes start watering with tears. " No, No. She can't be gone. It was just a fight, we've had fights before." Her voice was shaky.**_

_**Eddie's eyes turn sympathetic for a second before they hardened. "Maybe, but this time was different. The love of her life rejected her after all the shit she went through for him." He scowled at a pale Dimitri. "The whole Adrian scandal has the whole court calling her a whore, she believes she'll never become a guardian again thanks to the shit she pulled for Dimitri. Before you say it, no, she refuses to guard Tasha because she thinks she'll be shacking up with Belikov any day now. Way to add insult to injury. Spirit is driving her insane but she never said anything because she knows you love your magic. Top it all off the two people who should have helped her, just kicked her while she was down."**_

_**Lissa burst into tears. "Eddie, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh my god, what have I done? I lost my best friend. No, please ." She put her face in her hands as her body shook violently with the tears rolling down her face. "Rose, I'm sorry. Please if you are listening, I'm sorry, please come back. I can't live without you."**_

_**Dimitri stood up and pulled Lissa into her arms and held her while she sobbed into her chest. He whispered to her in Russian in an attempt to soothe her.**_

_**Eddie watched the whole scene with no emotion. "You know, Dimitri…" Eddie said quietly. Dimitri looked up. "had you held Rose like that while she was falling apart. She might still be here." He shook his head. " I should have killed you when I had the chance, but Rose stopped me because she couldn't bare the thought of living without you. Yet you had no problem stabbing her in the heart."**_

_**There was a fire I recognized in Dimitri's eyes, an angry fire as he pulled away from Lissa. "You have no clue, why I chose to distance myself from her. You know nothing about our relationship, past or current. The only thing you know is what she chose to tell you, nothing more. Rose was the love of my life and hurting her rips me up inside , but it is for the best. I'm not worthy of her anymore." Dimitri barked out.**_

"_**You took that decision from her, she thought you were good enough for her, but she left thinking she wasn't good enough for YOU." **_

_**Dimitri's eyes widened and I saw the quick flash of pain in his eyes before he hid it. "She'll come back." He said more to himself. " We'll find her and we'll bring her back."**_

_**Lissa sniffed. "Yes that's what we'll do. I'll hire some guardians and look for her. I'll have them check all the places we went when we were on the run and Montana."**_

_**Dimitri nodded. "I'll call Russia, maybe she went with my family in Baia. She sure loved them while she was there."**_

_**Eddie shook his head. " She's running from her past, so she won't go near those places. You guys are forgetting that this is Rose Hathaway we're talking about. If she doesn't want to be found, we won't find her. Get use to the fact that you'll probably NEVER see her again." With that he walked out of the cafe.**_

_**Lissa slumped into her chair, her face red and puffy. "He's right. It's over." She said miserably.**_

_**Then Dimitri said something that sent my mind into a tailspin. "This is most certainly not over. I will not give up on her, I'll find my wild girl again."**_

I sighed then scolded myself for bringing up painful memories. When I had pulled out of her head, I was seriously considering going back to court and forgiving them. Yet that idea went straight down the tube, when I found out I was pregnant the next day. It was completely unexpected, I got blood work done at a job I applied to. They were testing to make sure that I wasn't doing drugs,but they came back and told me Congratulations on the pregnancy. I had gone into a panic and went to a clinic to get checked out. The doctor confirmed that I was pregnant and I fainted. Yes the notorious Rose Hathaway fainted. Hey, I'd like to see what your reaction would be. I tried to tell the doctor it was impossible, but what could I say. My half vampire genes don't let me have children with other half vampires. I'd get locked in the loony bin. So, after sitting in my motel room for a whole day, I finally accepted the fact that I was going to have Dimitri's baby. I knew I couldn't go back now, no one would believe who their father was. I wouldn't let my child suffer that rejection. No, there was no going back. When I found out I was having twins, I freaked out even more. I went through the pregnancy alone and the labor alone. I had cursed Dimitri the entire time, I was giving birth to his daughters. I was suddenly awakened out of my daydream, with the sound of a screaming child. Alexei came running into the kitchen. She was hopping up and down chanting. "Pancakes. Pancakes. Pancakes. I want pancakes."

Anastasia came in much more calmly, said good morning and sat down at her spot at the table.

I rolled my eyes at how different they were. "Lex, go sit down at the table and I'll bring you your breakfast."

She hurriedly obeyed and ran to the table yelling "Yay! Yay! Yay!"

I cut up their pancakes on the plate before handing it to them with some syrup and butter. Then I served the smoothies and myself and the three of us sat down for breakfast.

"Mama, are you sure you can't come to my recital." Ana asked.

I shook my head. "You know the rules. If the both of you have an event, I can't go to either. I won't pick or you guys will accuse me of picking favorites."

"No we won't." Lex said through a mouthful of pancakes.

"Yes, you will. I know my own daughters, I gave birth to you two."

They both grimaced at that, the way they always do whenever I mentioned giving birth to them. I laughed at their expression.

"So, how is school?" I asked.

Ana shrugged. "It's okay, mama." They both look very uninterested in the subject and I knew why. They didn't have any friends, only each other. The petty little kids didn't like the twins because they were superior in sports and academics. I sighed again, thinking that at court, they'd be surrounded by kids like them, where they would be more likely to have friends.

"Anything exciting happening at school this week." I asked hoping to get their spirit's up before their competitions. Instead I realized the droop in their shoulders and the sad shake of their heads. My curiosity peaked. "What's the matter, girls?"

"Nothing, mama." Lex said, even her pancakes didn't look interesting enough for her. Now that worried me.

"Girls." I said in my no nonsense tone, that usually made Ana cave. I was right.

"There's a father daughter dance this Friday. It's okay mama, we didn't want to go anyways." Ana said quietly trying to make it seem like no big deal.

I closed my eyes in an attempt to ward away the waves of pain crashing through my heart.I sighed. "Why didn't you tell me that."

"Cause we know daddy makes you sad and we don't want you to be sad." Ana said.

I couldn't stop the sob that escaped my body and the girls rushed forward into my arms to try and comfort me.

"It's okay mama. Maybe one day, Daddy will come back and we can be a family, then you don't have to be sad." Alexei suggested.

I swallowed back my tears and nodded, knowing that will never happen. "Yeah, we should go get you girls ready for your games." They nodded and we finished our breakfast quickly. Once I had Ana's long hair in a bun she took over the task of getting ready. I pulled Lex's hair into a tight ponytail and helped her put on her uniform, shin guards and cleats. Their respective coaches came to pick them up and we exchanged small talk for a little while. I put money for food in the girls bag along with their respective sweat pants and sweaters. I gave them each a kiss and wished them luck. When they left, I closed the door and went into my bedroom to take a moment to gather the pieces of my shattered heart. _I'm sorry girl_


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey guys. thank you so much for the Reviews,it really warmed my heart to read them. Thanks for the criticism as well, I hoped that the story is now to your satisfaction. I was having trouble finding direction for this story and now I know how I want to approach it. Sorry, but the heartbreak does not end for Rose. Here's how Dimitri's been doing the past six years. Enjoy. All rights go to Our lovely Queen Richelle Mead.**

Dimitri's P.O.V

I didn't think I had hope left inside me, not after my reason for existing left. Six years without hearing her laugh or seeing her destroy a fellow guardian at the gym. Six years without hearing her call me Comrade and complain about my fascination with years without seeing her smile or hearing her voice or touching the hair that feels like silk between my fingers. Six years without making love to her. How much has changed in those six years since I last saw her? Has she grown a few inches or is she as small as I remember? Is he keeping up with her training or is she sitting at a desk day in and day out;I can't imagine my Roza living such a mundane life. Is her hair the same length or did she cut it, perhaps even dye it? God, I hope she didn't, I love her hair so much. I love her so much. Has she found someone new? The thought is painful enough to bring me to my knees, it's almost unbearable to think about. Rose never knew, but I am a terribly possessive man when it comes to her. I never let it show or at least I tried to never let it show because I knew she wouldn't appreciate that quality in a man. Yet the idea of anyone even looking at my Roza in the wrong way sends a stab of jealousy through me, let alone someone holding her, kissing her, touching her, making love…..NO! No. I would not think of that. I wouldn't be able to bear it. Through those six years no real leads surfaced ….until now. Some Alchemists that Queen Vasilisa hired had found two little girls around the age of five named Anastasia and Alexei Hathaway, whose files showed that had a mother name Rose Hathaway. I don't know how common a name Rose Hathaway is in the human world, but these little girls went to school only twenty minutes away from court. It could be a coincidence or it could not be. I don't know, but a small part of me was beginning to hope again while a bigger part of me was mourning over the fact that Roza has two daughters. She slept with another man. She had his children. Children that I wanted to-still want to- have with her even though it was impossible. I thought back to when Lissa told me the news and my less than excited response to it.

3

_**I heard a banging at my door, which I assumed was Tasha since she always forgot the keys to the apartment, but when I opened the door Lissa came storming through the door with Christian in toll. I was glad they were back together.**_

_**"Dimitri, we found Rose." She screamed happily. My heart pounded in my chest at the news, until Christian destroyed my excitement..**_

_**He snorted. "We didn't find Rose, we found a pretty good lead is all. Thought you'd want to know."**_

_**Lissa stuck her tongue out at him. " You're such a Fun Vampire."**_

_**Christian raised an eyebrow at that. "Fun Vampire?" He questioned.**_

_**"Yeah, it means you suck all the fun out of everything." She explained which caused Christian to laugh.**_

_**"Guys!" I interrupted impatiently. "What did you find out about Roz..Rose?"**_

_**Lissa explained the leads she found with great enthusiasm as if she couldn't tell my heart was breaking over the news of the two little girls. "Isn't this great Dimitri! We might finally find Rose." She exclaimed happily.**_

_**"Yay! We'll get a psychotic smart ass guardian back, who's more likely to kill me than protect me." Christian replied sarcastically though Dimitri knew he really would be happy to have Rose back.**_

_**Lissa stopped smiling when she took a look at Dimitri. "Okay, what gives? Why is your aura so sad. This is good news."**_

_**Dimitri couldn't hide anything from a spirit user he had learned a while ago. "She had children." He croaked out.**_

_**Lissa's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She didn't think Dimitri really loved Rose anymore, considering he was in a relationship with Tasha. "That's upsetting to you, isn't it?" She stated rather than questioned.**_

_**All I could do was nod and stare blankly at the wall. "She slept with another man." I finally managed to say, the words tasting like bile in my mouth.**_

_**Christian frowned. "Dude, that's pretty hypocritical of you to say considering you're sleeping with my aunt."**_

_**I shook my head. "No, I'm not." I said before realizing I was actually talking about my sex life or lack of .**_

_**Christian now looked surprised. "Really? That's not what she tells everyone else."**_

_**I blushed, but swallowed my pride to talk about something that proved Rose was the only one for me. " She tries, but it never really works out. I can't ever seem to get…..excited." I said awkwardly.**_

_**Christian raised an eyebrow which I knew would make Rose jealous. "Do you need to see a doctor about that?" He questioned.**_

_**I shook my head. "It works, I just have to be thinking about Roza." I look up to look at him in the eyes. "Tell me how it would be fair to Tasha if the only way to sleep with her is to pretend she's Rose."**_

_**Christian winced at that. "Thanks for respecting my aunt in that department, but why are you still with her if you're in love with Rose."**_

_**Lissa nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that's not fair to Tasha either."**_

_**I shrugged. "Why did Rose date Adrian?" I answered noncommittally.**_

_**Christian scoffed. "Yeah, and look how great that turned out. Dude just dump my aunt if you don't love her."**_

3

Christian continued to pressure me into breaking up with his aunt, arguing that it would be better for her to find someone that actually loves her. This made me feel guilty, but worse is every time I even hint that I want to break up, Tasha bursts into emotional tears saying that I'm the only one for her. I never really realized how much I dislike emotional women; Rose only ever cried after enduring unbearable heartache. I don't think she's ever cried over me. Even when stabbing me on the bridge she was calm cool and collected. She cried over Mason. She cried over those terrible rumours. She cried when darkness overtook her, but not over me. Never over me. Love was not a good enough reason to cry for Rose. My strong strong Rose.

**What do you guys think? Does Dimitri deserve it or does he need a little more pain? I guess Rose and the twins are due for a little reunion soon. Please Review**.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the Reviews guys. Keep them coming and I'll keep the chapters coming. :) By the way guys, I feel like I'm making you hate Dimitri. Don't hate Dimitri, I really love Dimitri, but just like everyone else he has his horrible moments. Don't give up on him just yet.**

Rose P.o.V

I quickly dried the tears from my eyes before continuing on with the house chores. Doing mindless work to get HIM out of my head. I'm so sick of crying over him, over things that I no longer even had in my life. Tonight, I would move on. I would. I really would this time. I'd find a random stranger and I'd bring him home. Home…..where my daughters sleep? Shit. No one wanted to have a one night stand with a mother of two. Or did they? I could always ask Lorenzo to babysit the girls and I could rent a hotel room. I quickly latched onto that idea. Lorenzo loved the girls and he would do anything for me. Lorenzo and I work at the same gym as personal trainers, so we became fast friends. He was handsome, strong, tall, and Italian. Lorenzo also knew about my world. We were both walking home late after a late shift, when we were ambushed by a Strigoi. I took my stake out of my gym bag and finished with him rather quickly. Lorenzo was traumatized so I took him home and told him about my world and then my past. He didn't call for two days or show up for work. I thought I would lose a friend, but he finally came over and told me that my past didn't matter to him only our friendship did. We were inseparable now. I took out my cell phone and texted him quickly.

***Hey you busy tonight?***

He texted back quickly. * _ ?*_

***I wanna go out and I need someone to watch the girls***

_*****__No problem, but since when do you go out without me__**.***_

***I plan on getting drunk and finding myself an orgasm***

_* Can't stop thinking about Dimitri, huh?*_

Damn he knew me to well. ***Are you going to help me or not?***

_* I am. Come to the gym. I'm working out right now, so you should join me.*_

***I'll be there in 15 minutes.***

_*See you then, babe.*_

_*__**Bye boo.***_

I quickly got dressed into a pair of running shorts, Nike running shoes and a spandex top before heading out the door. I grabbed my gym bag by the door along with the keys and locked up tight. I made it to the gym in about 25 minutes, but Lorenzo knew I was always late. I strolled through front doors ignoring the wolf whistles I usually got from the men in the gym and looked for Lorenzo. I saw a friendly face.

"Hey Tony, have you seen Lorenzo?" I asked.

He smiled at me. "Hey pretty Rose. He's by the tread mills."

I rolled my eyes at the stupid nickname for me, but I thanked him and went to find Lorenzo. It wasn't hard for two reasons: 1. He was surrounded by women and 2. He was wearing a neon yellow t shirt. I elbowed my way through the girls and ignored their pitiful death glares. He smiled when he saw me.

"Rosa, you finally made it." He said dramatically.

I rolled my eyes. "Stop being a drama queen, I'm always late." I jumped onto the treadmill next to him and began a light jog.

"So, why do you feel the need to get laid out of the blue?"

I kept my eyes trained forward. "I need to move on, Lorenzo."

He shrugged. "We could always get drunk at your place." He suggested. I laughed because Lorenzo had a habit of feeling me up when he was drunk.

"I don't think you're boyfriend would appreciate that."

He smiled. "He won't mind, you and I are the same person, it'd be more like masterbating."

I laughed again, which felt damn good. "You know sometimes I wonder if you're straight."

He shrugged. "You could probably turn me if you tried Rosa, especially with that body of yours. My offers always open and you know I'm clean." He teased.

"I might take you up on that someday." I said jokingly.

We continued talking about our jobs, his boyfriend, my daughters. The topic of the dance came up and he smiled.

"I'll take them. I mean I helped raise them, so I might as well." He offered.

I smiled. "That would be great, Lorenzo. I'll tell the….shit." I got off the treadmill and ducked behind a machine close by. My heart thumped wildly in my chest, panic seizing my body. Lorenzo joined me quickly after with our bags. He opened his mouth to speak, but I covered his mouth with my hand. I strained to listen with my dhampir hearing to the voices from my past.

"_Why the hell did you drag me to a damn gym, Castile. I am not training to be a fucking guardian like some people."_

"_You should thank me Christian. Lissa's been complaining about your stamina in the bedroom."_

"_If we weren't in a public place, you'd be ash for that. I still don't see why we don't use a gym at court for this."_

"_Because, I heard a really hot chick is personal trainer here and I need to get away from all that sad Dimitri shit at court."_

I heard Christian snort. "_You're telling me. Sometimes I think Lissa is in a relationship with him and not me."_

"_Okay enough small talk, lets head over to the treadmills for a warm up."_

My heart stopped.

**Sorry it's so short, but I wanted to leave you guys hanging. HaHa. Don't hate me. Next chapter will be longer, a lot longer I promise. So, should Christian and Eddie find Rose or should she make it out undetected. Happy reunion or drama showdown. Let me know**


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